Why I Ask My Mentees Open Questions Instead of Giving Them the Answers!
- Kathie O'Donoghue
- Nov 17
- 2 min read
When people hear I’m a mentor, they often assume my job is to provide answers, shortcuts, or ready-made solutions. But the truth is: I rarely give answers outright. Instead, I ask open questions - deliberately, consistently, and with purpose.
Why?
Because my role isn’t to be the expert in someone else’s life or career, my role is to unlock the expertise, clarity, and capability that already exists within the mentee, even when they can’t yet see it themselves.
Open Questions Create Ownership, Not Dependence
When I ask an open question, I’m offering the mentee a chance to pause, reflect, and step into their own wisdom. Something powerful happens in that space:
They hear their own reasoning.
They understand their motivations more clearly.
They begin to trust their instincts.
If I hand over advice, I’m giving them a tool. But if I help them think, I’m giving them the ability to build tools of their own…again and again.
This is where genuine growth happens. Not in the moments of receiving answers, but in the moments of discovering them.
Growth Comes From Exploration, Not Instruction
Open questions nudge mentees to go deeper:
What’s really driving this challenge?
What outcome truly matters to you?
What options feel most aligned with your values?
These aren’t questions designed to guide people toward my preferred outcome. They’re crafted to help them articulate theirs...and when the mentee arrives at the answer through their own exploration, the learning sticks, it becomes part of their identity, not just their to-do list.
A Person-Centric Mentor Creates a Safe, Skilled Space for Insight
This approach works because it’s grounded in a person-centric philosophy of mentoring that puts the mentee’s experience, agency, and growth at the centre.
A qualified, person-centric mentor:
listens without judgment or agenda
uses evidence-based questioning techniques
understands development, not just business
creates the psychological safety needed for honest reflection
supports the mentee in building long-term capability, not short-term fixes
This level of mentoring isn’t accidental; it’s trained, practised, and supervised. And it’s the difference between a conversation and a transformation.
Why I Don’t Rush to Provide the Answer
Because your potential is far more valuable than my opinion.Because your confidence grows every time you realise you can find clarity.Because real development happens when you look inward, not outward.
And because the goal of mentoring is not for you to think like me, it’s for you to feel more powerfully as you.
1. Experience person-centric mentoring for yourself
If you’re ready to unlock your own clarity, confidence, and capability, book a discovery call with me to explore how mentoring could support your growth.
2. Bring deeper thinking into your next challenge
Instead of asking, “What should I do?”, try asking yourself, “What options do I see, and what matters most to me in choosing between them?”You may be surprised by how much wisdom you already hold.
